The Funniest Yelp Reviews In Richmond: Part 1

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People tend to say the most dramatic and exaggerated statements when they feel that they have been wronged or disrespected.  When dealing with food service workers, we seem to have less patience than we do with other people that we interact with in public.  I guess it is because we want to make sure that the money in which we worked very hard to get is valued when spent.   I’m not the only person that has recognized this pattern of decreased patience with food service workers.  I did a simple non-scholarly search on Google of “Rude to food service”.  Unsurprisingly there were matching search results.  One example of a Yahoo question from 2010  is:

“Why are people so rude to fast food employees?”

“I’m 16 and work at McDonald’s and its really made me realize how rude people are. Customers treat you like you’re stupid and like they’re better than you. People yell at you and get an attitude over every little thing. I try my hardest to be a good employee but sometimes I just want to quit because of this.I’m not saying every customer is like this but definitely alot of them.”

We forget that waiters and waitresses are humans also, and they aren’t perfect.  I have changed the names of the restaurants in these reviews to “Blank”  The majority of reviews for these restaurants and bars are 5 stars.  I personally frequent all of the locations.  But they attract a lot of customers and that increases their chances of messing up and getting a horrible Yelp review.  Check out the best ones we have recently found below.

“Literally worst service I’ve ever had. I could collect a mass of human feces and sculpt it into a statue of a server and it would have been a million times better than the piece of shit that did serve me. Food is best described as “eh”. I wouldn’t even bring my ex here, and I hate that bitch.”

“This restaurant/club is never an ideal spot for me. It might be a spot that is exciting for someone who is underage and uses a fake id. If you’re looking to be inappropriately groped by men you don’t know, and unable to walk 3 feet without bumping into people, or enjoy basic and very loud radio music, then you’ll like this place. But if you’d like to actually be able to have a conversation or room to yourself, go somewhere else. I recommend bars in the fan.

Also, never go to this place on a holiday when it might be super busy. I went there for Halloween and their computers were apparently broken. The workers were rude about it, and it was impossible to get a drink.”

“When you want to put down your silver spoon and step out of the country club dining room, you and your second wife can feel as edgy as a dull butter knife at this restaraunt. You’ll be treated to fresh ingredients that are well-prepared, but the menu won’t push you outside of your palette’s Wonder Bread comfort zone. All in all, the decor is definitely the superstar. As you enjoy the dark, shrouded ambiance of the formerly light and airy venue, see if you can figure out how many penises and clowns are on display. We lost count, but it gave our table plenty of conversation starters. Best of all, the bill will hit you hard enough in your wallet that you’ll know you had a truly fine dining experience.”

“Went with friends who live here and love the owners other restaurants.
All is good, if you are not concerned where your food is sourced or the quality, those restaurants are for you. Cheap food, cheap price, huge portions. No wonder Americans are obese!!!

The new restaraunt, only the same with a tad more attractive interior, albeit very loud.
Awful food, Seriously……why are there such mediocre restaurants in this town?
No wonder Richmond has so many chains!”

“Food was not all that good. Me and my wife got sick when we got home. Place was dirty and needed to be dusted. Plus the pepper shaker was so nasty I was afraid to touch it.
There was something caked on the inside of the shaker. Don’t think I will go here again.”

“This place just fails at every turn. I’m tired of the “you can sit here but not here unless you’re eating and/or drinking, but if you sit there you can eat but not order drinks, and if you sit there you can have a waitress but every single person that sits at your table must order dinner”. It’s all nonsense after 5pm anyways.”
Then there is the clientele of this place. When we are trying to relax and have a couple of drink outside (which I do give credit for), the last thing I want is a bunch of drunk college kids literally racing laps about the deck making a scene. They did it 4 times, spilled 3 drinks, fell over their own chairs twice, and threw up at least once and only got a warning??? Toss them out and have some dignity already.

Sorry Blank… but you just suck.”

“Highly dissatisfied experience. Had my beer forcefully taken from me by the red headed/bearded bar tender at 1:45 a.m. while I was in the process of drinking it. When I approached the manager on duty, he did not seem compliant or willing to accept my feedback of their establishment. If you’re going to close a bar earlier than the time listed it is advised to change the hours listed on the front door rather than yelling profanity at clientele spending money at said establishment. I will not return there and because of the lack of customer service I would advise getting there well beyond closing time in an effort to keep from spending money on beer that gets taken away from in the process of drinking.”

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